My decision
i am SO indecisive! so me and my guy has been talking. i brought up some things that i wrote on the previous blog, though i didn't tell him i wrote it. i don't know. i do want to be with him, and i think he's ready. he reassured me that at this moment he doesn't want to be with anyone else. that's good to hear, but i'm always wondering what if this or what if that. it isn't a jealousy thing at all, it's a lack of confidence and self esteem. i always wonder why someone likes me. sometimes i feel that i'm boring and don't have anything good to talk about, or that i'm not pretty enough or as interesting enough. he told me not to think that way, and if i was all of that, he wouldn't be spending all of his time with me. i guess it's obvious he likes me a lot, but i'm always finding something negative, thinking why should he like me. i need to stop putting my self down! i'm supposed to be going away from that. his birthday is coming up, and i got him a gift that i'm waiting to come in. i think he'll like it, it's kinda creative and funny. we talked about being together as a couple, but now i'm the one who isn't ready! ugh, Toya make up your mind! We talked about it last week and i've been thinking about it this weekend. i feel i'm ready, but i need to think on it some more. let it simmer, lol. i guess i'll bring it up again if not on his birthday then after his birthday.in other news, i told my friends from church that i'm leaving and moving back to Chicago. i came back down here last Saturday to say my goodbyes. i was about to cry when i told them. the pastor said that i've grown alot and someone shouted out, i think one of the deacons, that they'll miss me too. i've gotta come back to visit, especially for any future conferences. even though this town gets on my nerves, i'm really going to miss the people. i'm leaving in another week and will move my stuff in another 2-3 weeks. it's time to move on and start my new life in Chicago or where ever i'm going to go. i'm selling my furniture and one of my friends and her roommates are buying it, so i'm halfway there.
i guess i'll end this here. i'm hungry and i need to run back home to fix me something to eat. we got a church conference next week, so we're going to be busy. i'ma miss my church and friends, but i'ma like going back to Chicago, though it's kinda scary since i've been gone so long. but having a relationship won't be bad either, but i know i can't make that my whole world. anyways, i'm gone. i'm trying not to neglect my blog, but myspace and facebook be calling me! :-/ holla!
3 Comments:
Have a great trip!
Well.. welcome back to the CHI miss lady.. Good to see you're back up in the blog.
Hey I'm in the Chi this weekend!
I'll keep you posted
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