The dumbest decision I've ever made in life (maybe)
It may seem to alot of people the dumbest thing ever, but to me, i just dont know. You all probably wont believe this, but here it goes.Ok, so about a hour ago i just got out of my Directing class final. Well we didnt have a final, but our teacher just talked about our scenes. This was the class that i was worrying about passing because it's a theater core course that i need to graduate with a C or better. "Directing isnt that hard" you say..."All you have to do is tell people how you want them to act". Well it ISN'T that easy. First off i am NOT a actor. I am a theater major, but not a actor. There are different parts to theater than acting. I'm trying to do playwriting. When i first came down here for school i was trying to do scene and lighting design. There's alot more to theater than acting. So i'm not a actor, but i'm a theater major. I took a acting class last year in the fall of 2003 and got a B in the class, but i'm not a actor. So how can i tell someone to act if i'm not an actor? I have no idea. Acting is not my passion unlike the other 10 people i had class with who either have acted and are not actors, or who are actors.
(ok i took like a really long pause inbetween typing this, because i emailed my teacher to ask him something about my grade again, but it's not liek you guys would know that if i didnt tell you, lol, but ok back to the story)
Also i have a hard time telling people what to do. I still get sort of nervous around people and having to give them instructions on how to do something, especially something that i am not comfortable with and dont know mucha bout.
So ok, i got a "D" in the class (took me long enough to get to the point, i forgot i didnt make it yet), and i was like "ok if i got a 'D' i will retake the class in the spring, still try to walk across stage in the spring, and just take the make-up class that'll be conflicting with it in the spring in the fall instead". So i go to his office after class, because he left early because we had to do those stupid evals. I asked him about plays i need to read so that i can be prepared to retake this class. He asked if i had to retake it, because this is his first semester here at this school, and the first black falculty in the theater department, he's from Nigeria, and has directed stage and television in London i believe, but anyways, he didnt know that i needed a C or higher int he cour to graduate. So he told me that he thought about giving me a "C" or "D" but gave me the "D". I know i deserve the D though, because i didnt do my first scene, and my Directors book i gave him was crap.
So he told me this "I can give you the "C" if you want it so you can graduate, or the "D" so you can retake it, because you should because you need to know the material". Now how many times in life would a teacher give you that option? I've been to teachers offices my first couple of years of college pretty much begging them to give me a C instead of a D or a B instead of a C. I know begging for a C seems silly, i mean i should apire for more than a C right? When you're trying to graduate however and just want to get through with school, getting a C is alright.
This is what i told him: "Yes i do want a C but i know that i need to retake this course because i didnt learn anything and i was behind everyone else" (because i'm not a actor and i dont like theater that much, i just switched back to it to graduate, and i rather take playwriting classes every semester than to take any other theater classes) "I'm still going to probably be down here int he fall anyway to take english classes and to work on my writing to submit a portfolio of my work to grad schools, so maybe i can take the make-up class in the fall instead, but still walk in May"
So yep, that's it, i decided to take the D (smh) and pass up the C that i needed thats required in the College of Liberal Arts to retake this dang on directing class! Can you believe that? who int he world would do that? Only me i guess. About a year or so ago i wouldve taken that C and not feel bad about it, but i wouldve felt bad if i took that C and didnt deserve it. What about when i'm applying for grad schools for their playwriting programs and i dont know some basis stuff about directing that can assist me in writing my plays. See it's not like this is a math class or science class that wont REALLY help me int he future or what i majored in. This is a theater class that will actually help me with my writing. I have to know how to analyze these plays. Thats another thing that makes a good director, and i didnt know how to do that. I JUST figured out how to analyze a play at the end of the semester, but it was too late and i got a D. I did take Play Analysis like 2 years ago, but i dont remember anything from it! I shouldve took this directing class 2 years ago right after play analysis, but i switched majors to radio/tv for a little bit.
So ok i was sort of happy that i made that decision because i felt that that had to be one of the most mature decisions i've made so far in my adult life. Like i hate making decisions, i'm bad at it. I like to hold things off until the last minute until i really have to make a decisiona nd i have no other choice. But once he told me that, my gut told me to retake the class because it would help me later on, but i was thinking in my head that i should take the C. I followed my gut.
So i left his office and went back to work because i left work to go to that final time. I told my boss that and she said to call him back, and i did, and then she said to pray about it. I told her supervisor about it (she's the director of undergraduate psych and has been teaching for many years) about it, and she told me, after i told her my conflicting class times, that i should call him back. After finding out that it wasnt conflicting with make up and that the directing class was conflicting with my long playwriting class, now i'm in a rut. So i wrote my teacher a long email explaining the situation and asking if i could work with him to see how he directs this play he's doing at the beginning of the semester and the play he's doing at the end (to get hands on experience), and still hand in analysis of plays to him without having to retake the class. I know he'll probably be like "forget it, you still get the D", but who knows. But i think he went to put grades in today, but they're not due until monday. So that means tuesday or wednesday i will be able to go online and check my grades. Hopefully everything elseis fine, i know i got at least a C or better in the rest of the classes, but hopefully i should have at least 3 B's, but since i'm always late, i might have a C in stage management. See i really have a problem with being late and procrastinating. i really need to work on that.
So what do you guys think about this situation? Was that a dumb decision i made? Do you think my teacher might let me just take the C? I don't know. Either way i still plan on walking in may. Well i'm stilla t work, and it's like 5:07pm right now, i got off at 4:30, but i was writing the emailt o my teacher and this post. Ok so i'm gone, time for choir rehearsal. You have a good weekend and hit me up and let me know what you think, aight? PEACE!
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