THINGS I'M GETTING OFF MY CHEST & OTHER THINGS...

well today im kinda sad, i just got outta church, and my day was fine until i went to chat on BP......my boy, ima call him T, that i've been chatting with on there since like march or april of 2001, and i've always considered him a friend, even though i only talk to him on the intertent.....

well anyways on sept. 11th me and my other buy, ima call him N, was in the chatroom talking about you know how the media has been showing all of this stuff the whole year, people crying over people dying, planes crashing into buildings, and buildings falling down, you know what shyt is very depressing, and im already depressed most of the time, i dont need that to make it worse, well N had in his tag "fukk sept 11th gimme back my cartoons" or something along that line, im not really sure what it said exactly, cuz the night before we wasa talking on the AIM about how it was gonna be on sept 11th, so i guess T's girl that i guess he's been seeing she chats in there too, she gets mad at N's tag, me and N still having our convo, she says something to him, he says something to her, and they start arguing, though N is talking about the media', she's talking about people dying, then at the end of all of that she says thats not what i was even talking about, i was talking about something else, though ny was talking about the media, so i guess she goes back and calls her self telling on us or something, but she said today that she tells T everything, about that......so the other day he comes in the chatroom and was like "im disappointed in you toya, you too N, i heard about what happened in here on sept 11th", and we're like wtf?.....

so i was mad by that, cuz he wasnt even in the chatroom at all, he's just going by what was told to him by her, but anyways i was like dont come at me like that, cuz i really didnt appreciate that.....so today i guess his girl goes and bring that back up, and he types "yea i lost respect for some people, toya, N, and whoever else...", so im like hold up, brb, cuz i was on the phone with my mama......i come back to talk to them, to give them my side, i guess they're still not listening, and im missing some things, cuz my pc is going slow like always and the chatroom goes to fast, so maybe i did miss a few things, but anyways im like you know she jumped in what we was talking about, and got mad cuz we was saying the media shouldnt over do it, cuz they did, im sorry, showing a plane fly into a freaking building 3908723498572348 times isnt good, showing people dropping outta windows and the buildings falling that many times, isnt good.......

well anyways his girl was saying that she was crying, and i read her page before and im sorry to hear that she lost some people, and i told N that later, but the fact is that we was talking about the media, but she looked at his tag and jumped in, and got all upset about something that we wasnt even talking about, we was talking about the media, george bush on every single channel, not people dying.....hell yea we was sad about people dying, and maybe i dont know how those people felt that lost someone, cuz i didnt lose no one in that, and i havent really lost no one that was close to me, and i pray to God that i dont, and i know that if them planes hit the Sears towers in Chicago, i know there wouldve been someone in there that i know, some family, a friend of the family, or someone from my church family, but im sad about sept 11th ever happening, but the media showing it over and over again, isnt good, and im sorry, thats my opinion, and yea i feel that they are blowing it out, it would be different if they went about it a different way, but pushing that shyt in our face like "look at the planes fly into the buildings, look at the buildings fall, look at people crying and grieving all the time over that" thats not good to me, and i was depressed after that, and i finally stopped watching the news, like after about a week or 2 of that happening, cuz everytime i turn, theres "america's new war" or clips of what happened on sept. 11th, and thats depressing and sad, and i know we are in the last days, with stuff like that happening, and all of this war, i just want people to try and not be so sad and depressed over it, but anyways i think im getting all off what i came here to type for, but T saying that, that really hurt me, cuz i thought we was cool, and he wasnt in there so he shouldnt go by one side of what happened, cuz of coursae that person will put what they think happened, he should listen to both sides then decided, and see what each person is coming from, but he probably wont and thats fine.........i dont know if he will talk to me now, cuz i know im pissed by that and i left the chatroom cuz i was mad, and i was really hurt, that he didnt at least take into consideration what i was saying, cuz he was like "thats nothing to joke about" um we wasnt joking, we was just saying how we was sick of the media, and then his girl said she was arguing with N, not me, then why is T disappointed in me for? she must did say i said something, i was only agreeing with N, on the fact about how the media be going one with this sept 11th ish, and for him to lose respect for me over that then, since his girl did say in the chat that she wasnt talking to me, she was talking to N, cuz i didnt say nothing to her, i was just watching her and N's convo.....

i still wanna know why T is disappointed in me, we was cool, well still are, i even use to have a lil internet crush on him a while back like last year, though we havent really talked to each other that much lately like we use to in the chat, i still considered him my friend, ok im repeating my self too much, cuz i dont have nothing else to say, and i know there might be alot of spelling mistakes in this, but oh well, im just glad i got this out, cuz i feel alot better now, cuz i was really mad and hurt by that, ima just write him and note, and hopefully he will read it, since he ignored my IM yesterday on aol, if not oh well, i will get over it, cuz i try not to hold on to stuff and be mad too long, and i guess i wont consider some people on the internet friends anymore, cuz like they say, you shouldnt let people on the net hurt you, cuz you dont really know them, but that i talk with some people everyday, i cant help but consider them a friend, but it is about time that i do go out and get REAL friends, but me being shy and all and like i wrote in other post, its hard for me, i think i have social anxeity, but hopefully i'll get over it, but anyways, everyone have a blessed day, God bless, peace.....

posted by Toya @ 3:49 PM