Craziness
i dont know what's going on with me or whats wrong with me....today in class, i got into it with my professor...i know i was wrong, and as a Christian i was especially wrong, but he is such a jack ass! OMG he just pretty much called all of us undergrads stupid in a "pretty" way....he just belittled us in class...just to us, not the grad students...acusing us of not having our group performance, that he ONLY gave us a week to do, together....and we have to do it on a sunday! he came in class and snapped on us, so some of us, well some people left, but i know i snapped back...then tears started to come..he gonna say "dont expect me to say (whatever he was blabing about) to make you feel good"...i was mad because he assuemd we weren't working...when you give a group of 6 people who all have different schedules a performance to put on a sunday, and half of these people have other performances themselves for other classes...then you're going to have a problem...2 of our people are going out of town this weekend and wont be back until the day we perform...it was a mess...one girl went to talk to him already becausee she said she needed to get it off her chest, and that as a Christian she was wrong because she knew she already had a problem with him before and didnt go to him a tell him...maybe thats what i need to do before i really snap off...i was cursing, and i dont even curse....well not at the teacher, after we all left class and was venting in the green room...someone said "you know Toya is pissed because she dont even curse"...and i was...and i was hurt...he's the only black falculty in the dept...and not saying he has to give us special attention (the ones in ouir class thats black), but dont try to make us seem like we're stupid...that hurt, it really did....that makes him no different then the white falculty that might act that way here, or any other teacher for that matter...and he's talking about all of this African this and that and being united and double concsiousness...he needs to cut all that bulll...he's wrong for coming at us like that...so this happens....i am friendless, well feel friendless....lonely...i'm stressed...been having to go to the doctor, my body dont want to act right...womanly problems...a cold, and a possible sinus infection...and feel like my body is going to shut down any day now...and my mama is laid off of work once again starting tomorrow...i've been doing things i probably shouldnt have been doing....i feel like i've lost a connection with God and i'm just slowly slipping farther and farther away....and i still gotta type up thos 80-110 minute play, damn...God please help to make things better...i know they're not even really that bad, i know people go through worse, but i feel awful!
3 Comments:
Professors like that work my nerve...I'll keep you posted
Well, if it helps you do have a friend in me, anytime. Like you said, we do go through these rough times in our life but God will NEVER let us go through this all alone. He's got your back girl, you just gotta keep that faith and trust in Him. You can draw yourself RIGHT back closer to Him in no time....just give Him your heart. :D *xoxoxoxoxo*
Girrrrl, i can relate to your pain. Why profs. (and life in general) be actin crazy at the end of the semester?!?! But, you can't lose your head (and your faith). Try to motivate yourself and keep going. You're almost at the end, and like the word says, "I have never seen the righteous forsaken. . "
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