Well i didn't...
...get the internship in STL, and that's ok. I was trying to keep faith as much as i could, but them not calling me back or returning calls had me thinking that i didn't get it. they took a longtime to tell us when they already knew who they wanted since one of my friends found out she got it. But that's ok, i'm thankful for the experience and being able to get a second interview.what's next for me? i have no idea. i plan on leaving Carbonhell, i mean Carbondale no later than December. i was going to take classes this fall, but there's really no point of doing that since i'm not exactly sure of what i want to do, though i do want to take this theater management class they're offering there. if i take that, i would have to stay there until December.
i'm at home in Chicago now, just got in yesterday. i was able to see my aunt who is leaving tonight, and hopefully hang with friends and see family while i'm here. the main thing i need to do though is update m y resume and look for work. for the most part during the day that's what i will be doing, looking for jobs here that will pay me enough that i can live on my own. i know having a roommate would make things cheaper, but i already did the roommate thing with family. besides, i've been living by myself for the last 3 years, so i'm not use to people being in my space, and i clean up when i want to, have the TV up as loud as i want to, or even leave all the lights on if i want to. But Chicago is expensive, so we'll see how that goes. i figure i have to at least make $10 and hour to survive and pay rent.
sometimes if eel bad that i graduated last December and didn't have a job lined up. i talked to a friend that i went to college with the other day and she told me to stop making excuses. she was right, but i really didn't want to hear what she had to say. she said if i really wanted to get into theater, then i just need to find a job, leave c'dale, get settled then volunteer at a theater to get experience because i might not get a theater job right away.
how many of you college grads been in the same boat as me? i feel like i dont have my stuff together. i know some people have said they've just gone off to grad school because they wasn't sure of what to do next. i don't want to waste another 2-3 years if i'm not sure of what i wanted to do. i feel bad because it's like i wasted the last 5 and a half year in college still not being sure as to what i want to do. dang on liberal arts major! i should've picked something technical dealing with math or science, or did a double major. but i guess it doesn't matter, as long as i have my degree. one girl i know told me to make my degree work for me, and i guess that's just what i'm going to have to do.
i'm kinda disappointed that i didn't get the internship. even though i was scared of going to a new place, i guess secretly i wanted to go to someplace different and live. for the most part i've always said that i wanted to go back to Chicago to leave, but going to STL, even though it is smaller than Chicago, sort of excited me. i would've had to learn a new city.
I've gotten so comfortable in c'dale that it's getting hard to leave. i know i need to because i don't want to get sucked in. i'm going to miss all of my friends from church and my church and i guess that safeness of a small town. i know it isn't that safe, but it's no Chicago. it's funny because when i first went to Carbondale, i swore up and down that i hated that town and i was always homesick and was ready to get away from c'dale any chance i could get. but now i've gotten comfortable. i wish i could take my church and friends back up to Chicago with me, but i know i'll be down there to visit every once in a while.
if i don't take this class, my plan is to leave c'dale in a month or 2. i'm giving myself until December since that'll be a year since i graduated. i guess i can just call this year the year i slacked off. my break in between college and the "real world". well i guess i didn't slack off that much. i did work a job for almost 3 months that i was fired from. i work on 2 productions on campus, and i did take classes this summer.
well i'll end this post here. i've been neglecting my blog. i should be at church or getting ready for church right now, but i had to wash clothes when i got to my mama's house. so i was up for a while. the stupid dryer didn't dry my clothes. me and my aunt was up washing, she got up for church, but i didn't. excuses, excuses, i know. but hey, i'm cramping and feel horrible, and ya'll know how that goes.
