Drama Free
Well i haven't been online much, but that's because i don't have the net at home anymore, and they cancelled my school log in name for the pc's on campus, so i just get online when i can. I'm still looking for a job and trying to decide between grad school and the real world. so much has been going on with me. i decided to make some changed in my life for the better 2 weeks ago, to make my walk with God stronger. As of 2 days ago, some things changed, for the better. It's just another thing i had to let go in my life that will help my walk. it's sad and i'm still kind of hurt how it went down, and i'm sort of like i should've known, i saw the signs, heck i've blogged about some of them before i guess, but i just had doubts and wanted to see for my self. Dude got busted, and no he's sorry. I'm hurt because i really cared about him, but i guess this is just a learning experience for me. and though we wasn't officially boyfriend and girlfriend, things got complicated because we spent time together and things got sexual, though there was no intercourse involved. I had feelings for him really bad, to a point where i thought i might have loved him, but maybe lust blurred my thoughts and feelings. I feel like a year and a half of my time has been wasted though we was only messing around like that for only about 9 months. But like i said, this is a learning experience, and next time i know since i didn't have much relationship experience. This is a blog i wrote maybe some hours after this situation happened on Myspace. it happened early Thursday morning. read that, and i'll holla later.I let my guy friend go today. Yep. It was sad how it had to happen and go down, but i'm so glad it did happen that way. At least this way i know the truth and i don't have to be worrying about how he feels about me ever again, because now i know. People told me to stay away, and i didn't listen, i wanted to see how things would go for my self. Others told me to stop being mean to him, and i did that, i tried to be nice, but he could never be honest with me.
We never was officially girlfriend and boyfriend, but i guess we never was because he would never be honest about his feelings. He didn't give a damn, so he ended up hurting mine, and who knows who elses.
He's a liar, a cheater, and can't tell the truth for nothing. He got caught up, and i felt and knew that it was coming.
I had a long 2 hour conversation with his ex, who he's been trying to get back with, never telling me that. He was lying to me and her, now he's lost both of us, and whatever other ladies that will be finding out about him soon.
I can't believe that someone could hurt and deceive in that way. Why would you just downright lie to me like that? How could he go on and carry lies between me, his ex, and possibly another girl. Then he tries to turn it all on me, and get mad at me? WTF?
I want to be mad and be real vindictive and get back at him. I want to make his life a living hell. I can be evil, but i won't. I'll just let God take control of it. All i can do his pray for him, because he's just a really sad case.
I've been thinking about leaving him alone for a while, but i guess i kept thinking things would be different in some months, but i guess not.
I'm SO happy that i was able to talk to his Ex without either one of us getting mad at each other or being ignorant. We just told each other the lies he told us and was like it's a shame. I'm not the type of person to go after the girl, i'd go after the guy in a situation like this, and she seemed to be the same type of person. More females need to do that instead of being all loud, ignorant, and chickenheadish and fighting over a guy.
Now he's all alone and lost us both. How sad.
Too bad i can't call him to have complete closure. I don't know if i want to talk to him anyways, i don't think i ever want to talk to him again. I guess that means not going to his graduation either.
Oh well, it doesn't matter, i can't call him because his Ex took her phone back from him.
HaHaHaHaHa! sad for him!
Oh well, life goes on, and this is a fresh new start. I actually had my fresh start 2 weeks ago, but this just really sealed the deal.
The only mad in my life right now is Jesus Christ, and i don't have any time for these nappy headed fools out here. I got alot of working i need to do on my self. I'm a newly college graduate and i gotta figure out what to do with my life next. I'm in a whole new chapter in my life. A chapter that i want to be drama free.
You gotta be down with Jesus before you come at me.
