doctor visit
so i went to a clinic that has a sliding scale yesterday since i no longer have insurance. i went to get a pap smear test, a urine test, and a blood test. the doctor said she say a very small amount of extra flesh when she did my pap smear. I'm hoping and praying that it's nothing serious. i really need to find out if i have fibroid tumors or not, but i'll have to take a ultra sound for that. she said my urine had protein in it, so they wanted to test my blood. i went home and looked up what protein in urine meant. online it said it's something that diabetics get or it could be something wrong with your kidney's. i'm hoping i dont have diabetes. that is something that i've been dreading for a while because it runs in my family and i've been struggling with my weight. though i've lost 40 lbs over the last 3 years, i still have 20 more to go. for some reason i got to 231 after one of my exes broke up with me, about 4 years ago. how i let my self get that big? i dont know. but luckily last summer by the time my 10 yr h.s. reunion, i got back down to 190, which was my college weight. all through college i had been trying to get down to 170-180. my goal now is 170, and maybe even 165lbs. we shall see.so i just got a call from the doctor's office saying they wanted to talk to me about my blood test next week. i'm wondering should i wait until next week or just try to go this week. the nurse wanted me to wait until next week so that i could get my results from my pap smear at the same time. i am a little worried about both. i hope that it's nothing really serious with the blood, like something worse than diabetes. i pray it's not. i'm going to be praying to God all week to make my blood, kidney, and reproductive system healthy. also my colon because i have IBS. God please heal me, in Jesus name amen.
i would go into news of the 22 year old guy that i've been seeing since the beginning of the year, but i won't. i like him a lot but he has no time for me because he's so focused on his music. so i'll just have to put him in the friend zone and get over my feelings for him *sighs*. i really wish he was less busy because if i get some bad news i'm going to really need someone to comfort me. this is why i'm seeing that i really want a boyfriend now, especially from the time's i've been hanging with him, cuddling with him. but since i'm not having sex, it wont work for him. i'm 29 and he's 22, so he would want sex of course. he also seems to only have time once a week for me...not cool. but maybe it's just best to focus on my self and be by my self for now.
anyways ya'll, if anyone even still reads this blog...laters
